Author: Jordan Fowler

Jordan helps small businesses grow as the owner of Moon & Owl Marketing, a marketing and advertising agency in Fort Worth, TX. Lover of cycling, track and field, and borderline Liverpool FC fanatic.

Kindle Math

Is Kindle < new book case + [(regular book price – cheaper ebook price) · # books purchased yearly]

Is $189 < $120 + [($15 – $9)50 or more

Yes. Thus, I am loving using the Kindle I received as a Christmas present. Even if I would not have received one, I would have purchased it because it makes economic sense (see above). I am liking it so far for fiction. My eyes got used to reading on it in about 3 minutes. Still awaiting whether I will love it as much for reading my stuff for teaching and sermon prep as I have certain pictorial margin codes that will not be able to be made on the Kindle. The books that become “Jordan classics” I will still probably buy and mark up. If you were Kindle skeptical, I advise you to borrow someone’s and try it.

Dealing With Conflict Part 3

Working with people at times will bring forth challenges. Tonight, was our men’s meeting week of my Team (small group). One of the guys told me something very wise that he uses in management. Usually when a people problem arises it can be broken down to one of two categories.

Training/Skill. Some problems are because people don’t have the skill set needed to execute whatever it is they are assigned to do. In that case you must ramp up training and communication to see if their skill set can be brought up to the quality level of the task required. Sometimes it can and sometimes it cannot.

Compliance. A much bigger issue. In this case the person possesses the necessary skill set, but the just won’t execute according to protocol and standards. Why? They might not see something as vital and important (communicating along proper channels, learning their stuff, hitting cues, etc.) and so they assume–the root of all conflict–that it won’t matter if they don’t execute it well (we call it a level 1 compliant problem). Another reason for a compliance problem is that the party doesn’t agree with the system, methods and standards, and they either don’t care or don’t know how to communicate it well, so they take it upon themselves to remedy the problem on their own accord (Level 2). The worst manifestation is a “cut your feet out from you” compliance problem where someone has a personal issue with you and your leadership and they attempt to intentionally sabotage leadership (Level 3).

Dealing With Conflict Part 2: Leadership Star

Ever need to have a difficult conversation with someone but dread it? Need to get something out on the table but not knowing how to say it and remain Christlike in the dialogue? Use Bobb Biehl’s leadership star.

“I care enough about you to be fair and honest with you. Here is where you are strong (list them). Here are some things that might be stressing you and are difficult for me (list them). I want to free you up to serve in your strengths by. . .”

biehl-leadership-star2.jpg

The conversation can be this brief or more of a dialogue depending on the circumstance. We use it when someone’s perfomance or character is continually sub-par and we need to address it. Let’s look at it piece by piece:

1. Care. If you haven’t cared for them in the past, you are already sunk because you weren’t Christlike. You’ll have to skip that part of the star, but it makes it more difficult.

2. Fair and honest. If you are a political spin artist or have danced around the truth in the past, they’ll be shocked you are being so straightforward now. Always have complete honesty in previous conversations as a bedrock foundation. For example, if one of our employees tanks a presentation, I don’t tell him/her, “Good job today.” Instead I say, “Make sure we . . . next time.” I don’t want them to hear in the weakness/difficulties section below, “You are not a good presenter,” for the first time in the star conversation. They need to be hearing honest critique along the way.

3. Strengths. Sometimes I ask them what they think they are doing well in their role? I tell them the strengths of character and execution that I see them exhibit.

4. Weakness, Stressors and Difficulties. I then say, “Here are some things I sense might be causing you stress and are causing me difficulties.” I could include their lack of promptness, poor execution, character issue, etc. I always point out they are causing me or another team member stress so the person cannot say, “No, that isn’t stressing me out at all.”

5. Free you up to serve in your strengths. Sometimes we can talk about how I could move them laterally. Is there a position that maximizes their strengths and makes their weakness irrelevant? Other times I have to let them go, as painful as that is, because there is no lateral move. Sometimes, it is as simple as saying we will watch a stressor/difficulty together for a while to see if they can resolve it (kind of like a yellowcard in soccer). I give them very clear expectations about what “resolve” means.

The leadership star is a great tool to keep a difficult conversation on task and for you not to soften up what really needs to be said in its fullness. The conversation can be honest and Christlike. We’ll post up some video of examples of using this star in various mocked-up settings soon. If you have questions, ask away in the comments section and we’ll do our best to answer how we do it.

Dealing With Conflict Part 1

“Pull the thistle.”  We have heard that phrase from our lead Pastor Bob Roberts 1,000 times at NorthWood.  He means, in his East Texas roots way, that if you don’t deal with an issue, gossip, behaviors or negative comments quickly and directly the “wound” will soon get infected, fester, and possibly even affect other areas of the body; but most of us dislike or even dread conflict and confrontation, so we let things go that shouldn’t be let go.  I am not advocating not offering grace, but making it clear that grace is being offered and that there is an issue at hand.  Here are some principles I have learned about dealing with conflict from watching Bob Roberts and listening to leadership guru Bobb Biehl:

1.    You can deal with something all out, and it will be messy, or you can not deal with it and have the person’s little messes fall on you for years. I learned that difficult conversations, though hard, are much better than the constant tension of denial over a long period of time.

2.  Only sadistic people like conflict, I prefer clarification. Bobb Biehl says that all conflict is based on a wrong set of assumptions by one party.  Examples: (A) “Oh I thought I could talk negatively about another worship team member on Thursday and still get to sing on Sunday.”  (B) Wow, you really care that I drank so much at a party that reports came back to you.  It wasn’t that much”    (C) “Yes, I told someone else that you had wronged me without coming to you first, but it was your fault.”  Or more subtly  (D) “Yes I haven’t sung the required amount of times on bridge team, but I helped out on extra on vocal teams last month.”  (E)” Yes I miss audio cues almost every other week, but I am trying my best.” One of the best ways to have a “clarification conversation” is to bring forth the concern and then ask the person to list their assumptions.  Then, you can list clearly the principles or values that counter those assumptions.  Hopefully you have espoused those to a degree in the past that it isn’t the first time they have heard them.

3. Since you will begin the conversation by asking them questions to gather their assumptions, it allows them to speak and be heard without feeling like they are being attacked. Stay calm and listen.  If they were wrong and are trying to dodge the issue, their answers will out them.  If you had misunderstood the situation, you’ll hear their answers and realize your assumptions about the situation was wrong.

4.  When you have the clarification conversation, do not let the conversation drift off topic and get to your solutions. Write down the things that need to be covered and the clear solutions or outcomes.  I remember having to deal with a band member who had gone to a topless bar.  I had the solutions written down so I wouldn’t get to the quick.  If he was repentant, I would ask him to tell his wife, apologize to his fellow bandmates, take a six month band hiatus and then we would talk about his returning to the band.  Tough, I know, but redemptive.  If he was not repentant, I was going to permanently dismiss him from the band.  I wrote it down so I wouldn’t forget or “go soft” even if he repented and say, “Its okay, just don’t do it again.”  He needed the grace and time to deal with the issues at hand.

I Love the Erg

A great article on erg training and its value. I got hooked on erg training about 2 years ago. I did go a little overboard doing that almost exclusively and my back would get tied up after rows of 20K+. Now that I have combined rowing with cycling/spinning and not cranking out quite so many miles on the erg, I have a balanced combination of aerobic activity that is leaving me injury free thus far. Ah, the joy of being 41.

These new ergs look like the cat’s meow. I want to try one.

Goodbye Lowa’s. May You Rest in Peace.

Twelve years ago, I entered into a relationship with the best pair of shoes I had ever owned. Today, they gave up their sole.

It was mere puppy love as I picked out my Lowa’s amid a myriad of other potential mates as I prepared for my first trip to Vietnam where we had a fairly wicked mountain hike in 90+ degrees and high humidity. I had no idea of what our future held. After our intense Vietnam date, I made like the Bachelor  and prematurely asked my first pair of shoes for their laces in marriage. It was a wonderful relationship. They kept my high arches in absolute comfort through rocky Texas walks, muddy Vietnam hikes and forested Washington journeys. They also provided me passionate podiatric attention through trips to searingly paved amusement parks, across the cobbled stones of European cities, and circling over grass clippings of the backyard.

Today, they breathed their last as I mulched leaves on a vacation day at home. I’ll admit it. My “allergies” acted up when I saw what had happened (much akin to the indoor, “No I am not sad, I was just cutting onions.”). So goodbye, my lovely Lowa’s. You shall be missed. And though I can get another pair of you at REI, no insoles shall ever caress my feet like you did. Dios te bendiga…

The Shoe Widower

How To Rest Well

You eagerly lay your head on the pillow but find yourself staring at a shadowed ceiling, sleepless. Mind racing, you suffer from a troubled soul that offers no concessions to your wearied body. When battered by the chaos of life, we need to learn the art of resting. Not merely physical rest but a deeper soul rest.  True rest is actually something we learn from God and gain access to through Christ.

God rested

In Genesis 1 after God created order from the chaos, He rested. That doesn’t mean that God disconnected from creation for a moment of respite in His heavenly hammock. By saying God rested, the author of Genesis means to convey that God had demonstrated His sovereignty over the forces of chaos in the creative week.

In the Old Testament, after the Temple was built, God was said to rest there (I Chronicles 28:2, Isaiah 66:1, 2 Chronicles 6:41, etc.). Though the Holy of Holies could not completely contain the omnipresent God, this sacred place within the Temple was said to be God’s footstool. The Temple was built after after Israel had defeated its enemies and entered the promised land. In fact, David and Solomon both note that God has given them rest by defeating their enemies and, thus, they are able to build Him a temple which may serve as His place of rest (I Kings 5:4-5). In a sense, God’s enemies and their foreign “gods” had been put under His feet.

God promises rest to His people.

God promises rest to Adam  if he took care of the Garden (Genesis 2:15 the Hebrew word for put is not the normal word but one that carries and overtone of rest). He promises rest to Israel if they lived faithfully in the promised land (Exodus 33:14, Deuteronomy 3:20, 2 Samuel 7:1-6).

How we get in on God’s rest.

Soul rest is a realization that God has defeated His enemies and dwells with us. Biblical rest is not merely being inactive physically, or chillaxing as my 11 year-old daughter says, though sometimes that plays a part. Rather, it is understanding that God’s presence is with us and that we, in Christ, can overcome the apparent chaos that surrounds us and causes us anxiety and turmoil.

True rest stems from the following understanding:

  1. We are now God’s temple where Jesus through the power of the Holy Spirit takes up residence. Our hearts are, in that sense, like the Holy of Holies in the Temple, God’s resting place.
  2. That in Christ, we have entered His rest (Hebrews 4:2-4), meaning that we trust that our sovereign God has defeated, is defeating, and will fully defeat our enemies (sickness & death, evil, Satan) and bring order to the chaos that seems to be the root of our anxiety and lack of rest.

How do we get in on that rest?

Though we do not see the full victory over our enemies and chaos presently, we live in faith that God will do what He has promised (Revelation 20:10, 14 & Revelation 21:4). Satan, sin, death, mourning, and sorrow will be ultimately overcome. The chaos that appears to run rampant on earth will be put away and God’s order will be established as peace rules the earth.

We gain rest for our souls as we access these biblical promises in our daily lives. Paul instructs us how to live by faith in this way. This is what we are to do when the swirling waters of chaos overtake us and our natural response is to panic and have rest absent from our souls.

Philippians 4:5b The Lord is at hand; 6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

8Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. 9What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

1. Declare the nearness of God. “The Lord is at hand.” He is in you and you are in Him. He calls you a son and daughter. He has not abandoned you to the chaos or lost you to your enemies, but has placed them under His feet (Luke 10:18-19; Acts 2:34-36) . You might even have to say this aloud to yourself and to others to walk in this truth.

2. Declare that He is coming soon to put all the enemies and chaos that trouble your soul under His feet. The Lord’s Day is at hand. In that moment, all our present sufferings will be placed in perspective (Romans 8:18) and we will be given our ultimate rest. This is promised to you and will be given to you no matter how much chaotic unrest you feel now. Live in the promise and let it anchor you in the present.

3. Pray. Prayer is faith in action. Prayer says, “I believe God has a vested interest in me and in preserving His glory.” Thus, He will act in a way that supports both of these, even if I do not see its actualization in my earthly lifetime. He cares for my concerns and even if my circumstances don’t immediately change, I am capable of having a peace-filled, restful soul as I focus on Him. God can center me in what appears to be a storm.

4. Practice. Even if you are not feeling rested, practice the spiritual disciplines. Practice setting your mind on Jesus and the things above by setting apart intentional times of Biblical meditation. Then seek to bring that centering on Christ found in those set apart times into your daily living as you drive, work, run errands, etc.  Pray by talking internally to God and listening to Him in the daily ebb and flow of life.